Twenty Questions, December 2011
Why does it take so damn long to get out of the house? Who came up with the word “hoodoos“? Where did my thirties go? What makes me shiver? Why is therapy so expensive? How am I supposed to nurture my kids’ emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual development as well as my own? How many fidelity pledges can Newt Gingrich sign? Is it really necessary for my knees to creak when I stand up? What can I do to change the world? Peanut butter, yes: especially on cinnamon graham crackers. Would I recognize the face of God if I saw it? What is so satisfying about a sunny December day? Why is it hard to sit still with myself? Have I eaten enough chocolate thus far? Why is biting my nails so satisfying? Are trees oblivious to all the violence around us? When will I sell a novel and become world famous? Are there enough words to express the gratitude I feel? Why can’t I get stoned every once in a while? How is it possible that my parents are 70? Will I dye my pubic hair if it goes gray? Ham and pineapple on pizza: Just wrong.